I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
