you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
