Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
