Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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