why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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