Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
