I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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