Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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