I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
