I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
