worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
