I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
