vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
