so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
