pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize