Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
