id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
