All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
