Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
