Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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