i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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