you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
