What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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