there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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