I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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