If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
