Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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