no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
