would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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