Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Randomize
