That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
there is glitter all over my balls
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
