Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
