Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is her dick bigger than yours?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
