cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you inspire me to be a worse person
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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