My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
