i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
