you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
