I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
