yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
