We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize