you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
