I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Acid is not a monday night drug
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
