covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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