Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize