and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
