you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
that is very illegal...i love you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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