Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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