Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
