i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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