yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
