he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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