i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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