dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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