THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
