If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize