no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
