Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
